Divide and Conquer……….
Scribed by Hawkeye
Public Health warning I: when things get to such an extreme, you either laugh or cry. I choose the former, I hope you do too. If not, do not read on, this is not for you………………..
Since last week my lockdown locks down have been self-trimmed and the cleaning business has failed to take off (thankfully).
Hashing by design is a communal activity, so in extremis and in isolation the inveterate hasher may be feeling a little lost. So here’s a sideways glance at the world today……
- So it’s been a somewhat dystopian nightmare these last few weeks, but I guess if you can get a McDonald’s drive thru (their spelling not mine) and both Eastenders and The Archers are back on air – the worst has surely passed.
- Gone are the heady days of lockdown when I would awaken and for the briefest of moments not recall what was going on. These days I just awaken an hour later, slightly heady, not recall what is going on and merely wonder why the beer supplies look so diminished.
- With more people ‘out and about’, retaining social distancing while running remains a challenge and it appears that basic geometry eludes the average punter e.g. two walkers socially distant on each side of the 2m path will pause and let you pass….where the F are you supposed to go? Err…… one in front of the other on a 2m wide path would be much more useful!! In the end I usually decide to ‘divide and conquer’, bifurcating with body and fingers as I go.
- This week there’s been a huge fillip for the Barnard Castle tourist board as de facto Prime Minister Dominic Cummings spotted a scientist in a car and like a rat up a drainpipe decided to ‘follow the science’ and headed up the A1M after him. The resultant press conference approached the recent nadir set by Prince Andrew and I am only somewhat disappointed that the Dom didn’t find time to pop into Pizza Express in Woking on his travels.
- Maybe the moment has passed, but with his wife and children involved it could be still be possible for a Durham minor to undermine a Tory PM – Maggie would be spinning in her grave…..
- From the NE but domiciled locally, it would have been much better luck if you recently crossed paths with Black Cat – as he’d secured 4 pints of Hogsback TEA from the Royal Oak in town. #supportlocalbusinesses
So hashing moves a step closer, but who knows when, whereas the prospect of a summer holiday moves a step further away. Personally, I suspect there will be strong interest in some ‘low tech’ cross-channel ferries to avoid a two week quarantine. There seems to be a growing stock of ‘used boats’ with ‘one previous owner’ piling up in Kent. Just saying.
So stay safe, stay sane and hash alone. On on while in in.
Public Health warning II: this is written more for my sanity than yours. If you are missing a regular run report, just go to the PH3 iPlayer at https://ph3.org.uk/ where into the Search box you can add any hash number (below 1884), a venue, a hare, a hasher, you name it – and receive a blast from the PH3 past!