Non Run 7 (due to Covid-19 restrictions)

Blessed are the hairdressers – the folically challenged will inherit the earth…….

Scribed by Hawkeye

Public Health warning I: when things get to such an extreme, you either laugh or cry. I choose the former, I hope you do too. If not, do not read on, this is not for you………………..

So after seven weeks of lock down, the locks are down and haircuts have finally replaced toilet rolls as the must-have item du jour! But rather than rail against the injustice of a world without barbers, I have decided to embrace the challenge and will henceforth be sporting a nylon tracksuit with matching head & wrist bands – a look once popular in the late 70s/early 80s. All the better to display my mullet. Think Kevin Keegan in his Liverpool days.

Hashing by design is a communal activity, so in extremis and in isolation the inveterate hasher may be feeling a little lost. So here’s a sideways glance at the world today……

  • I had begun to get concerned about the welfare of Pis’t’man Pat. I have set up a computer algorithm which alerts me when the number of PP PH3 What’s App posts falls below 20 in any 24hr period. This week I was close to calling 111, fearing that he had succumbed to Covid-19 or more likely Merlot-20 when I realised that the whole community had taken time out. Seems you can have too much of a good thing.
  • Activity in the Hawkeye household also reached a new low point when following recent heavy rain, the large puddle that forms at the end of my drive became an ‘entertainment hub’ for the local <5yr olds, such that I had to go out and enforce social distancing. A sad day indeed.
  • Amidst the doom and gloom, there is a light on the horizon with the news that the next series of Love Island has been cancelled and if we stay in lockdown for just a few weeks more – Eastenders will go off air. Our sacrifices may not have been in vain.
  • Regarding Eastenders etc., is this is what is meant by a R (transmission) level of <1??
  • Emerging scientific advice seems to indicate that the prevailing virus has more serious consequences for men than women. Therefore what we can only hope is that in his much trumpeted speech at the weekend Bojo announces a staged unlocking….women and children first. Hell – they could even run the country, it would be hard to do it worse than the current male-dominated leadership. I am of course excluding Priti (vacant) Patel from that concept. Put her in charge and I ain’t never coming out!

And remember social distancing from the fridge is the key strategy for flattening your curve. Stay safe, stay sane and hash alone. On on while in in.

Public Health warning II: this is written more for my sanity than yours.  If you are missing a regular run report, just go to the PH3 iPlayer at https://ph3.org.uk/ where into the Search box you can add any hash number (below 1884), a venue, a hare, a hasher, you name it – and receive a blast from the PH3 past!

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