Non Run 8 (due to Covid-19 restrictions)

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’20. Wear hand cream…..

Scribed by Hawkeye

Public Health warning I: when things get to such an extreme, you either laugh or cry. I choose the former, I hope you do too. If not, do not read on, this is not for you………………..

First up, to let you know that due to a contractual dispute (image rights) there will be no accompanying picture of my cat this week. It appears that agents representing Olive and Mabel, recent stars of https://twitter.com/MrAndrewCotter have turned his head. It’s a dog eat dog/cat eat cat world out there now. Instead I hope you like the Cornflower piccy.

And to follow up my obscure headline reference to Baz Luhrmann’s 1999 Sunscreen, I can only recommend you check it out at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5giWfpANMac surely a ‘song’ to keep you grounded in 2020.

Hashing by design is a communal activity, so in extremis and in isolation the inveterate hasher may be feeling a little lost. So here’s a sideways glance at the world today……

  • Thanks for all the expressions of concern (none actually!) about my lockdown locks down. In fact Sorry John has kindly offered to loan me his dog clippers. Maybe I’ll persevere a while longer
  • Sadly I was not able to make the first Sunday Zoom In, but I understand that in a massive reversal in fortunes, PP was the only one unable to get a word in. It’s all about bandwidth PP, and what you do with it.
  • Seemingly Scooby Doo has missed ‘the opportunity of a lifetime’ by not outsourcing content and proof reading for his Masters’ Thesis. A captive audience have few viable excuses……
  • 2016 was a tough year for the musically minded as we lost David Bowie, Prince, George Michael and Leonard Cohen. Sadly 2020 is shaping up in similar fashion with the last week alone claiming two of the greatest keyboardists and instrumentalists of modern times, Dave Greenfield (Stranglers) and Florian Schneider (Kraftwerk) L
  • On the political front, the lockdown has been eased, sort of. I am probably not alone in wishing we could have an independence referendum….right now I’d rather be governed from Holyrood, at least the Scots do seem to have a clue what they’re doing. Whereas we now seem more socially as well as geographically distanced from our brethren North of the border.
  • The debate goes on about the meaning of ‘staying alert and safe’ – as a compromise I have taken to wearing my house slippers to the local shops, seems to strike the right chord between staying home but not.
  • Golf and tennis is now permitted but whereas in golf it has always been bad form to handle an opponent’s ball, in tennis it is now an offence punishable by Covid-19. I swear there is now Government advice telling you not to handle someone else’s balls – who’da thunk it!
  • And as for football, I propose that rather than play games behind closed doors, the Premier League could retrospectively review all VAR decisions and open them to a public vote and reallocate league points accordingly.  Now that’s a way to engage a crowd in a socially distant way

I will close with my health tip of the week which, is to remember to choose wisely on fridge supplies and avoid ‘gateway nibbles’ – you know the kind of things, hummus, cheese and crackers etc. – the sort of thing that inadvertently lead to a glass of red wine at midday. Stay safe, stay sane and hash alone. On on while in in.

Public Health warning II: this is written more for my sanity than yours.  If you are missing a regular run report, just go to the PH3 iPlayer at https://ph3.org.uk/ where into the Search box you can add any hash number (below 1884), a venue, a hare, a hasher, you name it – and receive a blast from the PH3 past!

Cornflowers near Newlands, May 2020

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