52:70 that’s my number…………..
Scribed by Hawkeye
Public Health warning I: when things get to such an extreme, you either laugh or cry. I choose the former, I hope you do too. If not, do not read on, this is not for you………………..
Another obscure reference to open with. The musically minded might know of the reggae classic ‘54:46 was my number’ by Toots and the Maytals – if not check it out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nqqp5XoyLE (as a small aside – I recommended my daughter to prioritise seeing these guys at Boomtown 2017 (in the video), she loved them and then recommended I attend Boomtown 2019 and of course I loved it – oh to be at Lion’s Den stage in 2020!) anyway the 54:46 in question was allegedly his prison number in Jamaica (drug dealing). Whereas 52:70 is my number, namely where my lockdown drink/dry day ratio started and where it is now! Handily it also doubles up as my ‘real’: ‘feels like’ age number too!
Hashing by design is a communal activity, so in extremis and in isolation the inveterate hasher may be feeling a little lost. So here’s a sideways glance at the world today……
- A new phenomena developing in my line of work is to become Skype-stressed, Webex-weary or Teams-tired. Remember when ‘Zoom’ was a verb meaning ‘to move or travel very quickly’? rather than another hour of your life you’ll never get back grinning inanely at work colleagues on a screen. That aside it is a good way to stay socially connected and who knows I might even join the PH3 on-in one day. It’s just that my weekend has become largely screen-free…….
- The narrative of the noughties has now become the truth of the twenty twenties…. As FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) has become FOGO (Going Out) or even JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out)…and next?
- As the lockdown was eased I merely commented to the current Mrs Hawkeye that I was now free to go and socialise with a person outside our household, this brought a deep frown, maybe the glint in my eye wasn’t wise!
- The UK government continues to confound after testing the patience of 66m people a day rather than testing 100,000 patients a day their next fiasco is a ‘Track and Trace’ system. To my mind they’d do well to try and track PM Bojo – who seems to have disappeared without trace….again.
- There’s a general bad smell about the overall handling of this crisis, which on one hand is a personal positive outcome as loss of smell is now an official corona-indicator.
- On that front I rather hope Moss and Jasper are training as Corona sniffer dogs, though as track records go – following a bunch of sweaty hashers has never been their forte….
- And with a loss of taste added to anosmia as corona-worthy, there is no immediate worry, but if you ever hear me talking about Bon Jovi or Mumford & Sons in a positive way – call the medics.
- So whilst it might be classed as borderline domestic abuse, I keep adding celery to my cooking. The current Mrs Hawkeye hates it, but at least I know she is in full health! It’s also part of my personal battle against the ‘corona kilos’.
So that’s it for another week, I’m off to register as a cleaner, so I can go and visit people and get paid £11/hr for hoovering while I’m there – we all need a hobby! Stay safe, stay sane and hash alone. On on while in in.
Public Health warning II: this is written more for my sanity than yours. If you are missing a regular run report, just go to the PH3 iPlayer at https://ph3.org.uk/ where into the Search box you can add any hash number (below 1884), a venue, a hare, a hasher, you name it – and receive a blast from the PH3 past!