Run Report 1923: Pine View Close, Chilworth

C’mon, c’mon hurry up Harry c’mon……

Scribed by Hawkeye

June is becoming blooming marvellous (excl. latest extension to corona-restrictions!) and no more so than in the bucolic setting of the Robin Hood, Maid Marion garden which was where I found the hare relaxing with a coffee last Sunday. It was already stickily hot and cold drinks (non-alcoholic) were on offer to would be runners.

These included Hawkeye, Pis’t’man Pat, Wally, Le Pro, Virgil, Venus, ITB, Cynthia, Tea Cosy, Lady Chatterley and at some point TIFM. So another week and another recently retired hare – how would this week turn out….. Pre-run briefing/bull**** was intended to make us think that Blackheath not St Martha’s was to receive our attention. I knew a little better.

Retracing my steps down by Lockner Farm from my run to the start and reaching the gunpowder mills – my small advantage ceased. A welcoming cool enveloped us as we trotted left and right beside the Tillingbourne to eventually escape up to Chilworth Manor. Hoping the trail took a less vertical direction, I found no sign of a trail and succumbed to the inevitable. Therefore with FRB Venus I commented that come what may, I was going to ascend this track (‘the gulley’) – after all whilst the hill was the same, this route was in the shade. A few breathless minutes later and several fruitless long distance vocal exchanges with the concerned pack, thinking I had gone astray – I arrived at the view point to watch the pack struggle in the full sun.

Robin Hood made good pace to the voluntary regroup and enticed us to ascend further, this we did but without succumbing to the summit, even though our interest was ‘peaked’. In the end we passed all the way round the back and despite provocation – “maybe this is the circle where you head up to the top…” were never tempted. At this point it was TC, myself and the hare who were making pretty good speed considering he’d already set the run.  Caffeine fuelled no doubt. But Venus, Cynthia and co were also in close company.

At the church car park we tried to dissuade Venus from heading off down the ‘llama path’ into the distance and at that moment I caught the sound of an ‘on on’ from I assumed the hare. Somehow thereafter TC and I broke away from the group and enjoyed some shaded downhill running through Colyers Hanger and ultimately to the bottom of the hill. The hare was MIA but by now we had TIFM, who had started late and was ‘running’ the trail backwards.

TIFM remains incorrigible, infuriating and untameable in equal measure. In fact alongside his gardening business I am sure he could give Fancy Bears a run for their money and stress test any fool proof system beyond its limits. Case in point this week had the GM lamenting his inability to contact TIFM, who only has a mobile phone, rarely has it switched on, has no voicemail system and rarely ever reads or sends texts. So not having spoken, Wally sent him a text assuming (as you would) that he would eventually read it and note the switch of venue from Abinger Roughs…….As it transpired the mobile phone was resident in my car all week, inside a jacket that TIFM left behind last week! I suspect no one else in PH3 would forego their mobile phone (also noting that this is TIFM’s only means of communication – he has no email) for a whole week. No surprises then that he arrived late and started the trail backwards – because forwards was too easy.

TC and I seemed to find the on in rather too easily and it later transpired that the majority of the ensuing pack took a no doubt delightful but imaginary loop around the ponds when in fact the trail passed by the most direct route back to the Lockner Farm lane and home. We were joined again briefly by the hare who seemed to be struggling to keep ahead of the pack, as we were in the throes of crossing over to the outbound trail. More coffee required…….and maybe with the lyrics of Sham 69 ringing in his ears…. C’mon, c’mon hurry up Harry c’mon……

VERDICT: What’s not to like about a beautiful day spent in the shadow of St Martha’s – except on such a hot day, maybe more shadows and less hills, but in reality we had a great time out, many thanks Robin Hood for your considerable efforts. Puzzlingly – TC and I somehow covered 5.5 miles in our efforts whereas the GM with the GarMin, who met his Waterloo (pond) did a mile less – but we’ll put that down to a technology rather than user error.

POST RUN ENTERTAINMENT: Copious cool water saw us rehydrated, and as I left c1230 I don’t think I’d seen a single beer consumed – which is scandalous behaviour for a hash group. The ensuing BBQ no doubt made up for it, with 3s4d and Miriam swelling the numbers. As TIFM had arrived for a run in a different place without a post-run BBQ, who knows what he made of the afternoons’ events……on on.

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