Run Report 1951: The Windmill, Ewshot.

Mind your language!

Scribed by Sparkly

AFAIK, the very first acronym I ever learnt was IQ.- I remember being told it was a really important test at school, which I failed, obviously, because I didn’t have enough of it to work it out by myself as we had not been taught about abbreviations and acronyms by that stage.

Since then life itself has become one long test in keeping up with an ever growing list of acronyms, designed I’m sure to keep people like me in my place, but of l8 there seems to have been a rash of them.  I’m sure parents of today’s generation of children must feel like they have to learn a new language.

So now add SANG to your vocabulary.  More about this l8r

Rocking up in time for Hawkeye’s MALTA (Most Attractive Locality To Access) were the following:

In the shape of MAN (Muscle-Activated Nonentity) were Robin Hood, ITB, and Wally, and in the shape of WOMAN (Watcher Over Man’s Absurd Notions) were Sparkly, Call Girl, Factor 30, Cynthia, & Easily Overlooked.  Walking ahead of us were Moondance and Robic, with Black Cat and TIFM arriving l8, making a TOTAL (Tot Overall Through A List) of 12 Hashers.

FYI the hare had  sent a WhatsApp photo of a qt shaggy calf we might see, then in our briefing, an explanation of what a SANG is – a Suitable Alternative Natural Greenspace.  Whatever were they called before?  Hawkeye said that the SANGs had completely changed his memory of the area from the last time we hashed here – way back in June 2012 when he set with TIFM in a still inebriated state from a Boys (Bloody Old Youths) only biking event.  I reckon he was in no fit state to take in the MALTA on that occasion, let alone remember it.

From the Tadpole Lane Car Park we set off in the general direction of  Church Crookham and soon found the first SIGN (Sure Indicator Generally Noticed) on a gate notifying us we were entering a SANG. Wally sniffed out the little detour off the well maintained paths, taking us past several WW2 pill boxes then Easily Overlooked led us almost all the way up to the junction with Naishes Lane. On looking at Google Maps, just across the road is the phenomenon known as Church Crookham & Fleet Men’s Shed  Who knew of such a thing?

We turned away just before Naishes Lane though and, spotting the aforementioned cuddly shaggy cows along the way, followed EO and F30 virtually back on ourselves almost all the way back to Tadpole Lane but further along.  We didn’t quite reach Tadpole Lane before we turned away again and wended our way through a lovely wooded area, exiting it at the Wakeford/Quetta Parks roundabout.

Not so hot on F30’s heels, Wally & Sparkly followed her, crossing over Beacon Hill Road, on to the first re-group.  Sparkly did a TIFM and wandered off to find the trail, then hung back until she could see them a looking in her direction and called On, getting the unexpected lead for 3 or 4 circles, heading out to Bourley Lake.  It was round about here that Black Cat caught up with us.

The climb up to Caesar’s Camp sorted out the wood from the chaff, leaving Robin Hood & Sparkly straggling behind, not helped by an un-kicked circle at the top.  The FRB’s were out of sight and we were out of mind – their minds, (and soon our own minds). Turning right and calling ‘Are you?’ we heard an answering call and gave pursuit, only to be dismayed by the sight of a sawdust cross a few yards further on. I can tell you there were no abbreviations or acronyms in my un-uttered language – all of it a  deep shade of blue!

The others got their rest at the 2nd regroup whilst waiting for RH & Sparkly (still spitting feathers and cussing) to catch up. Thereafter, the Garmin capture makes it look as though it was a long straight-forward route home, but Wally was bringing up the rear, making sure the circles were kicked out so no falsies show, but I imagine there were some.  The pack caught up with Call Girl and ITB, who had managed a short cut with perfect timing that brought them to a circle that hadn’t been kicked – because the FRB’s hadn’t reached it yet!  A lovely gently downhill trail brought us in right by the pub and home.

Verdict:  A proper Hash, beautiful countryside, (SANGs – now you know!) woods, ancient hill forts, heaths, views, lakes, (not 3 sides of a field, and another, and another!), soft under-foot, barely muddy, and although chilly to start with, the hare even divined dry, calm weather. It was nothing less than what we have come to expect of Hawkeye, and there remains plenty of scope for future hashes here.

In The Pub: It seems like we are getting back into the swing of being a ‘drinking club with a running problem’ or should that be a DCWARP?.  There was a while back there when I thought we’d forgotten what we were about.

  1. Those who wanted to were able to park at the pub.
  2.  We got to go inside, out of the cold
  3.  We got to sit together, in a cosy Covid forming huddle
  4.  We got served quickly –2 halves of cider sweetened Sparkly’s mood
  5.  We got chips, courtesy of the non chip-eating hare

Black Cat spared us no detail about his long Covid, whilst Hawkeye and TIFM pored over an ancient Surrey A to Z Atlas trying to figure out why TIFM missed the start point. Maps weren’t so accurately drawn on papyrus. Moondance’s impending ski-ing holiday was probably discussed – another sure sign life is getting back to normal. And this probably being his nearest pub, our old friend and scribe extraordinaire, ’80’, was fondly remembered by those who knew him.

Here’s a qt..a baby one!

P.S. If you are interested here is the difference between abbreviations and acronyms

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